The need to love or be loved...what’s greater?

The need to love or be loved...what’s greater?


When my son got a gift of a new playstation CD, I was annoyed once more. Wasn’t he watching enough TV and playing with the playstation quite enough already to be getting one more new game? Really! He was very excited and insisted I sit with him as he started it. I wasn’t keen to do. Wasn’t that much into bashing up the bad guys and unrecognizable aliens in assorted shapes and innumerable body parts. But what I saw then on the screen got me glued and touched me like few things have. This was no wham-bam game of killing and rescuing. It was something called Eye-pet, where a little creature (of rather unrecognizable species) hatches from an egg. It works with the hand held flashlight-like device with which you can touch things appearing on the screen and that’s how you nudge and touch a little egg on the screen and there emerges a little creature, part like a little monkey, a bit like a little lion cub but very very lovable all the same. It yelps, yawns and reaches out like a little baby. You can then feed it, pet it, caress it and feed it, like a little baby, a real pet. And if you don’t, it sulks and cries and reaches out to you. The mothering instinct was instantly awoken and I felt like cuddling and caring for the little pet. You also name it and Daniel named it “Yenil” to kind of rhyme with Daniel. But apart from the effect his had on me, I was amazed at what it did to Daniel.. here he was smiling a beatific smile, almost other-worldly, as he ‘took care” of Yenil. Getting concerned when Yenil could not reach out to the food and looked so sad and hungry, Daniel almost got worried. He petted it lovingly, looked after Yenil as if he were the sibling he does not have. He even wanted to finish his breakfast quickly because Yenil would wake up!! Run to the game in the morning to check on Yenil’s medical report since he had been sent to the medical care centre overnight since he was low in energy the previous evening when he finished playing with Daniel. It really brought tears to my eyes watching Daniel loveYyenil so much. Almost made me feel guilty at not having given him a sibling..but then that’s another story :)
What provokes me here if the realisation of a need that every human being, whether adult or child has...the need to love. The need to be loved, feel protected, feel taken care of are all needs that we are well aware of. But the need to love, to care for another and be responsible for another is another need just as large as the first. When you care and love another, it fills up some pieces in your heart one by one, making you feel complete, worthy and needed. Being loved in a passive way can only create a temporary sense of happiness, a very beautiful feeling no doubt and one that I would always have..but what I have been inspired to think of now is how to fulfil this need to love. What is also awakens in me painfully is the hunger that someone may feel when there is no one to care for or be responsible for. I know for some this may seem daunting and being independent and alone without “liabilities” is a feeling I respect. But having said that I would still want everyone to experience this. I saw the warm glow and beautiful smile it brought to Daniel’s face and I know that was total bliss.
But how about also providing others with the chance to love us and care for us. Being too independent, able to take care of oneself, not being affected if the other in your life does not look after you but boldly fulfilling all your needs on your own. Ever wondered what that would do to the significant others in your life. I suppose it would make them feel less wanted, less important and deny them that wonderful feeling of being able to care for you. So go ahead, depend on someone, sulk if they don’t do things for you, complain if they don’t hug you enough, let them do somethings that only they can do for you.i know I may have been guilty of not doing enough of this...and wish I could be more ‘dependent”. Anyone out there who wants to feel needed?? Reach out to me :) and anyone in need of looking after, we are able and wiling :)