So often in my training programs, i come across individuals who are full of issues that bog them down. .Questions they would like answered, complaints they want to share, feelings they want to vent. Difficult questions like "should i give my opinion at a meeting when everyone is sharing theirs?" "my boss is always dominating me...how do i disagree with him", "my co-workers push me to get too competitive, should i join the race? will i get left out"...and the list goes on. often there are no easy answers because the answer always starts with "it depends...". however, one of the questions i have often liked asking is, "Is it WORTH it...to YOU?" Is it important enough to you that you really want to "handle" this issue. Is this one of the situations that is critical to you and means something significant?"
Often we take ourselves too seriously forgetting that we only have that much bandwidth and that life's too short for too much angst. In terms of time, energy, attention spans etc, we cant be doing everything everytime with everyone. We cannot be fighting every battle to win. That would get exhausting! Its important to ask ourselves, "Am i seeing this problem to be so significant only because i am so close to it? Am i getting more involved in this one situation than is necessary? Can i take a few steps back and put it into perspective of the bigger scheme of things?"
One acid test that a friend once suggested while taking on any issue is to ask, 10 years from now, will this situation or this person still matter? Well, a tough question and not all of us are good predictors of the future, but it still makes us think about whether we have zoomed in too close and got overly-involved in the situation, getting emotionally over-invested in issues and things that have just assumed proportions that are unrealistically big? Just as when you look at an object holding it an inch away from your eyes, all you can see is the object and it looks bigger than it is and also appears blurred. Yet, take it farther a few inches and it gets smaller, clearer and takes on a different proportion. Similarly, i guess, if we start zooming out of situations to see them better and check if they really need the kind of attention and seriousness we are giving it, we can decide if it is worth prioritizing among other things in the limited bandwidth we have. Then we may choose to let some arguments go past us with us agreeing, because IT DOES NOT MATTER that much to win it. We may let some people have their way, we may let bosses tell us what to do even if you have a better idea, because its not significant enough to merit our total investment. this way we can then save up our reserves and use ourselves, our commnication, our time and energy to fight the battles that really matter. We will then do so more effectively and get noticed when it really counts. We will also have saved ourselves up to attend to the things that are important to merit our full commitment rather than be exhausted and pessimistic at those very pivotal moments.
Like a friend who is surfing matrimonial sites recently came across items that girls like for in a man. one of those is somthing called a 'GSOH'..a Great Sense Of Humor! and that is exactly what may help us put things in the right perspective to ask whether to laugh over them and let them pass without over investing in them or to take them by the horns and give it our best for what we believe is a significant outcome.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
How Long....?
Patience is a virtue they say...but at what point does virtue become vice? At what point does patience become lethargy and complacence?
It is all very easy to say that good things come to those who wait but don t those who wait too much also get stale stuff that’s crossed its use-by date? When I was younger, I did training programs where between “flight or fight” I stood for “fight”... stay back, fight it out, wait for things to turn, “shraddha and saburi”, patience and faith, were the two things you had to have. Struggle to make things work, always argued that “flight” was the easy option and that’s also what I heard many other so-called gurus propound. Everyone said that fleeing out of a situation was easy, staying back to make it work was the tougher of the two. To stay in, reflect, learn, adapt were the signs of a mature response to unpleasant circumstances. That you had the power to change the situation. And my naive mind believed it, because so far I hadn’t really had to fly out of that unbearable a situation. My young blood believed that everything ultimately works out and that fleeing was for cowards. Only now I realise, that staying in and trying to fight is actually easier but exhausting over a period.
Optimism can be great but beware of it also blinding you to bitter reality. Staying in and hoping for things to change, believing you are being patient may be the more cowardly action. It does not have to experience the pain of separation, the trauma of tearing away from things and people familiar to you. The fear of the unknown that awaits you can be daunting and it requires a lot, a lot of courage to take that step to take flight out of an unpleasant situation. Staying in only requires resilience, an almost mule-like attitude, a thick skin and an ear that’s hard of hearing :) But flying out requires strength of wings, confidence and ability to go it alone, the willingness to move away from a life you have known and the risk of moving into a new unknown space.
one argues saying stay in, and do the thinking, learning, adapting and that’s all good to say only I realise that all this happens at the early stages of the wait...after a while one just gets acclimatized to the environment and then the need to think, learn etc slowly dies out and one settles into an uncomfortable comfort of the familiar, painful but familiar. Even the pain is familiar and that is comforting. Going on about analysis, intellectualization and hoping that all will soon be well makes one inert and there is a fear that years will pass without awareness of the clock ticking.
taking flight may not be what’s commonly advocated, but needs equal consideration at some time because when something starts to cause more pain that pleasure and the effort of trying saps out one’s energy, it is time to boldly and courageously stop thinking and trying and simply take flight...situations can never be fully analyzed and what could have been done and what wasn’t will never be a topic that has completed discussion. So at times, its time not for patience but for action....unless you want to have over ripe, rancid, stale stuff doled out to you.
It is all very easy to say that good things come to those who wait but don t those who wait too much also get stale stuff that’s crossed its use-by date? When I was younger, I did training programs where between “flight or fight” I stood for “fight”... stay back, fight it out, wait for things to turn, “shraddha and saburi”, patience and faith, were the two things you had to have. Struggle to make things work, always argued that “flight” was the easy option and that’s also what I heard many other so-called gurus propound. Everyone said that fleeing out of a situation was easy, staying back to make it work was the tougher of the two. To stay in, reflect, learn, adapt were the signs of a mature response to unpleasant circumstances. That you had the power to change the situation. And my naive mind believed it, because so far I hadn’t really had to fly out of that unbearable a situation. My young blood believed that everything ultimately works out and that fleeing was for cowards. Only now I realise, that staying in and trying to fight is actually easier but exhausting over a period.
Optimism can be great but beware of it also blinding you to bitter reality. Staying in and hoping for things to change, believing you are being patient may be the more cowardly action. It does not have to experience the pain of separation, the trauma of tearing away from things and people familiar to you. The fear of the unknown that awaits you can be daunting and it requires a lot, a lot of courage to take that step to take flight out of an unpleasant situation. Staying in only requires resilience, an almost mule-like attitude, a thick skin and an ear that’s hard of hearing :) But flying out requires strength of wings, confidence and ability to go it alone, the willingness to move away from a life you have known and the risk of moving into a new unknown space.
one argues saying stay in, and do the thinking, learning, adapting and that’s all good to say only I realise that all this happens at the early stages of the wait...after a while one just gets acclimatized to the environment and then the need to think, learn etc slowly dies out and one settles into an uncomfortable comfort of the familiar, painful but familiar. Even the pain is familiar and that is comforting. Going on about analysis, intellectualization and hoping that all will soon be well makes one inert and there is a fear that years will pass without awareness of the clock ticking.
taking flight may not be what’s commonly advocated, but needs equal consideration at some time because when something starts to cause more pain that pleasure and the effort of trying saps out one’s energy, it is time to boldly and courageously stop thinking and trying and simply take flight...situations can never be fully analyzed and what could have been done and what wasn’t will never be a topic that has completed discussion. So at times, its time not for patience but for action....unless you want to have over ripe, rancid, stale stuff doled out to you.
How Long....?
Patience is a virtue they say...but at what point does virtue become vice? At what point does patience become lethargy and complacence?
It is all very easy to say that good things come to those who wait but don t those who wait too much also get stale stuff that’s crossed its use-by date? When I was younger, I did training programs where between “flight or fight” I stood for “fight”... stay back, fight it out, wait for things to turn, “shraddha and saburi”, patience and faith, were the two things you had to have. Struggle to make things work, always argued that “flight” was the easy option and that’s also what I heard many other so-called gurus propound. Everyone said that fleeing out of a situation was easy, staying back to make it work was the tougher of the two. To stay in, reflect, learn, adapt were the signs of a mature response to unpleasant circumstances. That you had the power to change the situation. And my naive mind believed it, because so far I hadn’t really had to fly out of that unbearable a situation. My young blood believed that everything ultimately works out and that fleeing was for cowards. Only now I realise, that staying in and trying to fight is actually easier but exhausting over a period.
Optimism can be great but beware of it also blinding you to bitter reality. Staying in and hoping for things to change, believing you are being patient may be the more cowardly action. It does not have to experience the pain of separation, the trauma of tearing away from things and people familiar to you. The fear of the unknown that awaits you can be daunting and it requires a lot, a lot of courage to take that step to take flight out of an unpleasant situation. Staying in only requires resilience, an almost mule-like attitude, a thick skin and an ear that’s hard of hearing :) But flying out requires strength of wings, confidence and ability to go it alone, the willingness to move away from a life you have known and the risk of moving into a new unknown space.
one argues saying stay in, and do the thinking, learning, adapting and that’s all good to say only I realise that all this happens at the early stages of the wait...after a while one just gets acclimatized to the environment and then the need to think, learn etc slowly dies out and one settles into an uncomfortable comfort of the familiar, painful but familiar. Even the pain is familiar and that is comforting. Going on about analysis, intellectualization and hoping that all will soon be well makes one inert and there is a fear that years will pass without awareness of the clock ticking.
taking flight may not be what’s commonly advocated, but needs equal consideration at some time because when something starts to cause more pain that pleasure and the effort of trying saps out one’s energy, it is time to boldly and courageously stop thinking and trying and simply take flight...situations can never be fully analyzed and what could have been done and what wasn’t will never be a topic that has completed discussion. So at times, its time not for patience but for action....unless you want to have over ripe, rancid, stale stuff doled out to you.
It is all very easy to say that good things come to those who wait but don t those who wait too much also get stale stuff that’s crossed its use-by date? When I was younger, I did training programs where between “flight or fight” I stood for “fight”... stay back, fight it out, wait for things to turn, “shraddha and saburi”, patience and faith, were the two things you had to have. Struggle to make things work, always argued that “flight” was the easy option and that’s also what I heard many other so-called gurus propound. Everyone said that fleeing out of a situation was easy, staying back to make it work was the tougher of the two. To stay in, reflect, learn, adapt were the signs of a mature response to unpleasant circumstances. That you had the power to change the situation. And my naive mind believed it, because so far I hadn’t really had to fly out of that unbearable a situation. My young blood believed that everything ultimately works out and that fleeing was for cowards. Only now I realise, that staying in and trying to fight is actually easier but exhausting over a period.
Optimism can be great but beware of it also blinding you to bitter reality. Staying in and hoping for things to change, believing you are being patient may be the more cowardly action. It does not have to experience the pain of separation, the trauma of tearing away from things and people familiar to you. The fear of the unknown that awaits you can be daunting and it requires a lot, a lot of courage to take that step to take flight out of an unpleasant situation. Staying in only requires resilience, an almost mule-like attitude, a thick skin and an ear that’s hard of hearing :) But flying out requires strength of wings, confidence and ability to go it alone, the willingness to move away from a life you have known and the risk of moving into a new unknown space.
one argues saying stay in, and do the thinking, learning, adapting and that’s all good to say only I realise that all this happens at the early stages of the wait...after a while one just gets acclimatized to the environment and then the need to think, learn etc slowly dies out and one settles into an uncomfortable comfort of the familiar, painful but familiar. Even the pain is familiar and that is comforting. Going on about analysis, intellectualization and hoping that all will soon be well makes one inert and there is a fear that years will pass without awareness of the clock ticking.
taking flight may not be what’s commonly advocated, but needs equal consideration at some time because when something starts to cause more pain that pleasure and the effort of trying saps out one’s energy, it is time to boldly and courageously stop thinking and trying and simply take flight...situations can never be fully analyzed and what could have been done and what wasn’t will never be a topic that has completed discussion. So at times, its time not for patience but for action....unless you want to have over ripe, rancid, stale stuff doled out to you.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The need to love or be loved...what’s greater?
The need to love or be loved...what’s greater?
When my son got a gift of a new playstation CD, I was annoyed once more. Wasn’t he watching enough TV and playing with the playstation quite enough already to be getting one more new game? Really! He was very excited and insisted I sit with him as he started it. I wasn’t keen to do. Wasn’t that much into bashing up the bad guys and unrecognizable aliens in assorted shapes and innumerable body parts. But what I saw then on the screen got me glued and touched me like few things have. This was no wham-bam game of killing and rescuing. It was something called Eye-pet, where a little creature (of rather unrecognizable species) hatches from an egg. It works with the hand held flashlight-like device with which you can touch things appearing on the screen and that’s how you nudge and touch a little egg on the screen and there emerges a little creature, part like a little monkey, a bit like a little lion cub but very very lovable all the same. It yelps, yawns and reaches out like a little baby. You can then feed it, pet it, caress it and feed it, like a little baby, a real pet. And if you don’t, it sulks and cries and reaches out to you. The mothering instinct was instantly awoken and I felt like cuddling and caring for the little pet. You also name it and Daniel named it “Yenil” to kind of rhyme with Daniel. But apart from the effect his had on me, I was amazed at what it did to Daniel.. here he was smiling a beatific smile, almost other-worldly, as he ‘took care” of Yenil. Getting concerned when Yenil could not reach out to the food and looked so sad and hungry, Daniel almost got worried. He petted it lovingly, looked after Yenil as if he were the sibling he does not have. He even wanted to finish his breakfast quickly because Yenil would wake up!! Run to the game in the morning to check on Yenil’s medical report since he had been sent to the medical care centre overnight since he was low in energy the previous evening when he finished playing with Daniel. It really brought tears to my eyes watching Daniel loveYyenil so much. Almost made me feel guilty at not having given him a sibling..but then that’s another story :)
What provokes me here if the realisation of a need that every human being, whether adult or child has...the need to love. The need to be loved, feel protected, feel taken care of are all needs that we are well aware of. But the need to love, to care for another and be responsible for another is another need just as large as the first. When you care and love another, it fills up some pieces in your heart one by one, making you feel complete, worthy and needed. Being loved in a passive way can only create a temporary sense of happiness, a very beautiful feeling no doubt and one that I would always have..but what I have been inspired to think of now is how to fulfil this need to love. What is also awakens in me painfully is the hunger that someone may feel when there is no one to care for or be responsible for. I know for some this may seem daunting and being independent and alone without “liabilities” is a feeling I respect. But having said that I would still want everyone to experience this. I saw the warm glow and beautiful smile it brought to Daniel’s face and I know that was total bliss.
But how about also providing others with the chance to love us and care for us. Being too independent, able to take care of oneself, not being affected if the other in your life does not look after you but boldly fulfilling all your needs on your own. Ever wondered what that would do to the significant others in your life. I suppose it would make them feel less wanted, less important and deny them that wonderful feeling of being able to care for you. So go ahead, depend on someone, sulk if they don’t do things for you, complain if they don’t hug you enough, let them do somethings that only they can do for you.i know I may have been guilty of not doing enough of this...and wish I could be more ‘dependent”. Anyone out there who wants to feel needed?? Reach out to me :) and anyone in need of looking after, we are able and wiling :)
When my son got a gift of a new playstation CD, I was annoyed once more. Wasn’t he watching enough TV and playing with the playstation quite enough already to be getting one more new game? Really! He was very excited and insisted I sit with him as he started it. I wasn’t keen to do. Wasn’t that much into bashing up the bad guys and unrecognizable aliens in assorted shapes and innumerable body parts. But what I saw then on the screen got me glued and touched me like few things have. This was no wham-bam game of killing and rescuing. It was something called Eye-pet, where a little creature (of rather unrecognizable species) hatches from an egg. It works with the hand held flashlight-like device with which you can touch things appearing on the screen and that’s how you nudge and touch a little egg on the screen and there emerges a little creature, part like a little monkey, a bit like a little lion cub but very very lovable all the same. It yelps, yawns and reaches out like a little baby. You can then feed it, pet it, caress it and feed it, like a little baby, a real pet. And if you don’t, it sulks and cries and reaches out to you. The mothering instinct was instantly awoken and I felt like cuddling and caring for the little pet. You also name it and Daniel named it “Yenil” to kind of rhyme with Daniel. But apart from the effect his had on me, I was amazed at what it did to Daniel.. here he was smiling a beatific smile, almost other-worldly, as he ‘took care” of Yenil. Getting concerned when Yenil could not reach out to the food and looked so sad and hungry, Daniel almost got worried. He petted it lovingly, looked after Yenil as if he were the sibling he does not have. He even wanted to finish his breakfast quickly because Yenil would wake up!! Run to the game in the morning to check on Yenil’s medical report since he had been sent to the medical care centre overnight since he was low in energy the previous evening when he finished playing with Daniel. It really brought tears to my eyes watching Daniel loveYyenil so much. Almost made me feel guilty at not having given him a sibling..but then that’s another story :)
What provokes me here if the realisation of a need that every human being, whether adult or child has...the need to love. The need to be loved, feel protected, feel taken care of are all needs that we are well aware of. But the need to love, to care for another and be responsible for another is another need just as large as the first. When you care and love another, it fills up some pieces in your heart one by one, making you feel complete, worthy and needed. Being loved in a passive way can only create a temporary sense of happiness, a very beautiful feeling no doubt and one that I would always have..but what I have been inspired to think of now is how to fulfil this need to love. What is also awakens in me painfully is the hunger that someone may feel when there is no one to care for or be responsible for. I know for some this may seem daunting and being independent and alone without “liabilities” is a feeling I respect. But having said that I would still want everyone to experience this. I saw the warm glow and beautiful smile it brought to Daniel’s face and I know that was total bliss.
But how about also providing others with the chance to love us and care for us. Being too independent, able to take care of oneself, not being affected if the other in your life does not look after you but boldly fulfilling all your needs on your own. Ever wondered what that would do to the significant others in your life. I suppose it would make them feel less wanted, less important and deny them that wonderful feeling of being able to care for you. So go ahead, depend on someone, sulk if they don’t do things for you, complain if they don’t hug you enough, let them do somethings that only they can do for you.i know I may have been guilty of not doing enough of this...and wish I could be more ‘dependent”. Anyone out there who wants to feel needed?? Reach out to me :) and anyone in need of looking after, we are able and wiling :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
instant communication!
all humans react to stimuli and the stronger the stimulus, the stronger the reaction. and it is interesting to note that this reaction is determined by the stimulus and we have little or no control over it. often management gurus like stephen covey speak of the "stimulus response gap" the SRG, the brief moments when we bring in conciousness to our reactions and become aware of the stimulus, the edfault reaction we are about to give and all accompanying outcomes. in these brief moments, the SRG, we choose our response and this ability to choose our response is what he calls is our "responsibility".
however, this GAP, the SRG is becoming more and more of a challenge given the age of communication we live in. in the earlier days, all remote communication devices somehow provided for the gap quite naturally. for example, telephone lines were fixed. so if i got a call from an angry partner when i was leaving from office and it really disturbed me, it would be some time before i got home and talked to him about it. or if i someone asked me a question as i was leaving home, i would need to reach the office to the call him/her back with my reply. this constraint in communication devices forced a gap of time before i reacted to some communication stimulus. and this gap forced me to think over the situation or the question a little and sub conciously i would "choose my response". however, in these days of mobile communication, stimuli are hitting us ALL the time, continuously, with no respite. and then with no constraints about time or place, we too are responding instantly, almost immediately...poked by the stimulus, triggered by sudden comments, questions and emotions. we no longer take time to "choose our response". as a result, all we do is react and since these reactions are not chosen, they are what is default, or impetuous or emotionally driven. for example, we get an angry sms from a friend, we immediately get upset and send off a reply, triggered by our feelings. our feelings controlling our actions. relationships are created over sms. people feeling something in the moment and not wasting any time communicating that to the person who is the subject of those emotions. people dont realise the impact of the stimulus they are sending to the other and what it can do to the person receiving it. ...at the same time relationshps are breaking faster than you ever imagined..business opportunities opened up and lost all in the blink and miss of instant communication stimuli and reactions.
now i am training myself to wait a while before i pick up the phone to sms my freshly minted thoughts. resisting the temptation to hit reply immediately to every email i get and to hold back from picking up the phone to express every thought that tkes birth in my head. instead, i am trying to take a gap, a deliberate attempt at slowing down myself and thinking about whether that communication is essential, what would be the impact of that and then choosing my stimuli and response more carefully. some may think that this may kill spontaneity in communication and make me manipulative. but i have noo such fears coz i have no illusions of being successful at all my SRG attempts...the SRG IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE SRG! here's to all thos leaks in the SRG and those few cracks where my emotions and spontaneity will get the better of me :)
however, this GAP, the SRG is becoming more and more of a challenge given the age of communication we live in. in the earlier days, all remote communication devices somehow provided for the gap quite naturally. for example, telephone lines were fixed. so if i got a call from an angry partner when i was leaving from office and it really disturbed me, it would be some time before i got home and talked to him about it. or if i someone asked me a question as i was leaving home, i would need to reach the office to the call him/her back with my reply. this constraint in communication devices forced a gap of time before i reacted to some communication stimulus. and this gap forced me to think over the situation or the question a little and sub conciously i would "choose my response". however, in these days of mobile communication, stimuli are hitting us ALL the time, continuously, with no respite. and then with no constraints about time or place, we too are responding instantly, almost immediately...poked by the stimulus, triggered by sudden comments, questions and emotions. we no longer take time to "choose our response". as a result, all we do is react and since these reactions are not chosen, they are what is default, or impetuous or emotionally driven. for example, we get an angry sms from a friend, we immediately get upset and send off a reply, triggered by our feelings. our feelings controlling our actions. relationships are created over sms. people feeling something in the moment and not wasting any time communicating that to the person who is the subject of those emotions. people dont realise the impact of the stimulus they are sending to the other and what it can do to the person receiving it. ...at the same time relationshps are breaking faster than you ever imagined..business opportunities opened up and lost all in the blink and miss of instant communication stimuli and reactions.
now i am training myself to wait a while before i pick up the phone to sms my freshly minted thoughts. resisting the temptation to hit reply immediately to every email i get and to hold back from picking up the phone to express every thought that tkes birth in my head. instead, i am trying to take a gap, a deliberate attempt at slowing down myself and thinking about whether that communication is essential, what would be the impact of that and then choosing my stimuli and response more carefully. some may think that this may kill spontaneity in communication and make me manipulative. but i have noo such fears coz i have no illusions of being successful at all my SRG attempts...the SRG IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE SRG! here's to all thos leaks in the SRG and those few cracks where my emotions and spontaneity will get the better of me :)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
So much to do and so little time!
The other day, a taxi driver took a left from a petrol pump site where I was filling fuel in my car, avoiding the red signal. The traffic cop caught him and asked him why he did that. The driver answered that the signal was very long, all of two full minutes and that he didn’t want to wait. At that point, the cop asked a very pertinent question. “So if you save those two minutes, what do you plan to do with that time?” the driver just smiled and drove on but it set me thinking real hard....often we have the refrain, i am not reading enough, not exercising adequately, not meeting friends as much as I’d like to, not spending time with the family like I long to...all because “i have no time”. But the question is, if i had more time, do i know what i would do with it? Fact is, there are so many things that I dream of doing and when I think of it, I don’t know where to start! I feel overwhelmed and frustrated and I find myself getting overwhelmed rather often
So much to do and so little time is a mind binder. It binds the mind into feeling trapped, helpless and perpetually tired. Fact is, it’s not about whether we have the time to do things, it’s how badly do you want to do them. Do you want them with a compelling desire, a hunger, a need? Or are they things we would like to think about doing more often than not, Ii find that all the things that we say we don’t have time to do are things we have just casually thought of doing or thought of doing because it makes us feel good about wanting to do those things. We haven’t really processed the benefits of doing them and haven’t really got deep into visualizing what we’re missing by not doing them. Once this causal wish to do something gets translated into a strong need, a burning desire, there arises an impatience that’s uncontrollable. THEN we find the time to do them. We make the time to do them. But wait, once we have stirred up those passions and desires, then prepare and get ready to do them. If there’s a book you’ve decided you want to read, then buy it or borrow it, keep it with you at all times, you never know when and where you get a window of time opening up ...waiting for an appointment at the doctor, lounging at the airport, sitting at a pedicure, you can never tell! If there’s a friend you’ve been dying to meet, call him, ask when he is available and plan a time to meet him or her in advance. Else Sunday prevails on you, you have the time, you call him but he has already stepped out. Then you find yourself with another meaningless Sunday wasted.
Knowing what you want your time for and wanting that very badly and then being ready for it all when the time presents itself, will enrich our lives, slowly filing up all the gaps one important desire after another. So the next time I wish I had more time, I shall think what I want it for, and then want it VERY BADLY
So much to do and so little time is a mind binder. It binds the mind into feeling trapped, helpless and perpetually tired. Fact is, it’s not about whether we have the time to do things, it’s how badly do you want to do them. Do you want them with a compelling desire, a hunger, a need? Or are they things we would like to think about doing more often than not, Ii find that all the things that we say we don’t have time to do are things we have just casually thought of doing or thought of doing because it makes us feel good about wanting to do those things. We haven’t really processed the benefits of doing them and haven’t really got deep into visualizing what we’re missing by not doing them. Once this causal wish to do something gets translated into a strong need, a burning desire, there arises an impatience that’s uncontrollable. THEN we find the time to do them. We make the time to do them. But wait, once we have stirred up those passions and desires, then prepare and get ready to do them. If there’s a book you’ve decided you want to read, then buy it or borrow it, keep it with you at all times, you never know when and where you get a window of time opening up ...waiting for an appointment at the doctor, lounging at the airport, sitting at a pedicure, you can never tell! If there’s a friend you’ve been dying to meet, call him, ask when he is available and plan a time to meet him or her in advance. Else Sunday prevails on you, you have the time, you call him but he has already stepped out. Then you find yourself with another meaningless Sunday wasted.
Knowing what you want your time for and wanting that very badly and then being ready for it all when the time presents itself, will enrich our lives, slowly filing up all the gaps one important desire after another. So the next time I wish I had more time, I shall think what I want it for, and then want it VERY BADLY
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
some bonds...am sure you have experienced this...i have!
There must be some explanation
For some bonds that we form
In minutes, days and hours
Connections invisible but firm
Of all the thousands of people
we meet from day to day
why should it be only one or two
to whom our thoughts should stray
why do our minds pick up
only a couple of frequencies
and our bodies just react
to those few chemistries
its strange how we get to know
within minutes that we meet
somehow that here’s a person
i just know i’m going to meet again
and sure enough and soon too
we end up meeting them once more
in strange places, unexpected ways
just like i’d been so sure
and when we do, it doesn’t take much
to pick up where we left off
the very same comfort, the easy laugh
a bond you can almost touch
just what could be that connection
i don’t care to explain
its just enough to know
in you i’ve found a friend :)
For some bonds that we form
In minutes, days and hours
Connections invisible but firm
Of all the thousands of people
we meet from day to day
why should it be only one or two
to whom our thoughts should stray
why do our minds pick up
only a couple of frequencies
and our bodies just react
to those few chemistries
its strange how we get to know
within minutes that we meet
somehow that here’s a person
i just know i’m going to meet again
and sure enough and soon too
we end up meeting them once more
in strange places, unexpected ways
just like i’d been so sure
and when we do, it doesn’t take much
to pick up where we left off
the very same comfort, the easy laugh
a bond you can almost touch
just what could be that connection
i don’t care to explain
its just enough to know
in you i’ve found a friend :)
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