instant communication!

all humans react to stimuli and the stronger the stimulus, the stronger the reaction. and it is interesting to note that this reaction is determined by the stimulus and we have little or no control over it. often management gurus like stephen covey speak of the "stimulus response gap" the SRG, the brief moments when we bring in conciousness to our reactions and become aware of the stimulus, the edfault reaction we are about to give and all accompanying outcomes. in these brief moments, the SRG, we choose our response and this ability to choose our response is what he calls is our "responsibility".



however, this GAP, the SRG is becoming more and more of a challenge given the age of communication we live in. in the earlier days, all remote communication devices somehow provided for the gap quite naturally. for example, telephone lines were fixed. so if i got a call from an angry partner when i was leaving from office and it really disturbed me, it would be some time before i got home and talked to him about it. or if i someone asked me a question as i was leaving home, i would need to reach the office to the call him/her back with my reply. this constraint in communication devices forced a gap of time before i reacted to some communication stimulus. and this gap forced me to think over the situation or the question a little and sub conciously i would "choose my response". however, in these days of mobile communication, stimuli are hitting us ALL the time, continuously, with no respite. and then with no constraints about time or place, we too are responding instantly, almost immediately...poked by the stimulus, triggered by sudden comments, questions and emotions. we no longer take time to "choose our response". as a result, all we do is react and since these reactions are not chosen, they are what is default, or impetuous or emotionally driven. for example, we get an angry sms from a friend, we immediately get upset and send off a reply, triggered by our feelings. our feelings controlling our actions. relationships are created over sms. people feeling something in the moment and not wasting any time communicating that to the person who is the subject of those emotions. people dont realise the impact of the stimulus they are sending to the other and what it can do to the person receiving it. ...at the same time relationshps are breaking faster than you ever imagined..business opportunities opened up and lost all in the blink and miss of instant communication stimuli and reactions.

now i am training myself to wait a while before i pick up the phone to sms my freshly minted thoughts. resisting the temptation to hit reply immediately to every email i get and to hold back from picking up the phone to express every thought that tkes birth in my head. instead, i am trying to take a gap, a deliberate attempt at slowing down myself and thinking about whether that communication is essential, what would be the impact of that and then choosing my stimuli and response more carefully. some may think that this may kill spontaneity in communication and make me manipulative. but i have noo such fears coz i have no illusions of being successful at all my SRG attempts...the SRG IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE SRG! here's to all thos leaks in the SRG and those few cracks where my emotions and spontaneity will get the better of me :)

So much to do and so little time!

The other day, a taxi driver took a left from a petrol pump site where I was filling fuel in my car, avoiding the red signal. The traffic cop caught him and asked him why he did that. The driver answered that the signal was very long, all of two full minutes and that he didn’t want to wait. At that point, the cop asked a very pertinent question. “So if you save those two minutes, what do you plan to do with that time?” the driver just smiled and drove on but it set me thinking real hard....often we have the refrain, i am not reading enough, not exercising adequately, not meeting friends as much as I’d like to, not spending time with the family like I long to...all because “i have no time”. But the question is, if i had more time, do i know what i would do with it? Fact is, there are so many things that I dream of doing and when I think of it, I don’t know where to start! I feel overwhelmed and frustrated and I find myself getting overwhelmed rather often 
So much to do and so little time is a mind binder. It binds the mind into feeling trapped, helpless and perpetually tired. Fact is, it’s not about whether we have the time to do things, it’s how badly do you want to do them. Do you want them with a compelling desire, a hunger, a need? Or are they things we would like to think about doing  more often than not, Ii find that all the things that we say we don’t have time to do are things we have just casually thought of doing or thought of doing because it makes us feel good about wanting to do those things. We haven’t really processed the benefits of doing them and haven’t really got deep into visualizing what we’re missing by not doing them. Once this causal wish to do something gets translated into a strong need, a burning desire, there arises an impatience that’s uncontrollable. THEN we find the time to do them. We make the time to do them. But wait, once we have stirred up those passions and desires, then prepare and get ready to do them. If there’s a book you’ve decided you want to read, then buy it or borrow it, keep it with you at all times, you never know when and where you get a window of time opening up ...waiting for an appointment at the doctor, lounging at the airport, sitting at a pedicure, you can never tell! If there’s a friend you’ve been dying to meet, call him, ask when he is available and plan a time to meet him or her in advance. Else Sunday prevails on you, you have the time, you call him but he has already stepped out. Then you find yourself with another meaningless Sunday wasted.
Knowing what you want your time for and wanting that very badly and then being ready for it all when the time presents itself, will enrich our lives, slowly filing up all the gaps one important desire after another. So the next time I wish I had more time, I shall think what I want it for, and then want it VERY BADLY 