are you too close? ! a matter of perspective!

So often in my training programs, i come across individuals who are full of issues that bog them down. .Questions they would like answered, complaints they want to share, feelings they want to vent. Difficult questions like "should i give my opinion at a meeting when everyone is sharing theirs?" "my boss is always dominating me...how do i disagree with him", "my co-workers push me to get too competitive, should i join the race? will i get left out"...and the list goes on. often there are no easy answers because the answer always starts with "it depends...". however, one of the questions i have often liked asking is, "Is it WORTH it...to YOU?" Is it important enough to you that you really want to "handle" this issue. Is this one of the situations that is critical to you and means something significant?"

Often we take ourselves too seriously forgetting that we only have that much bandwidth and that life's too short for too much angst. In terms of time, energy, attention spans etc, we cant be doing everything everytime with everyone. We cannot be fighting every battle to win. That would get exhausting! Its important to ask ourselves, "Am i seeing this problem to be so significant only because i am so close to it? Am i getting more involved in this one situation than is necessary? Can i take a few steps back and put it into perspective of the bigger scheme of things?"

One acid test that a friend once suggested while taking on any issue is to ask, 10 years from now, will this situation or this person still matter? Well, a tough question and not all of us are good predictors of the future, but it still makes us think about whether we have zoomed in too close and got overly-involved in the situation, getting emotionally over-invested in issues and things that have just assumed proportions that are unrealistically big? Just as when you look at an object holding it an inch away from your eyes, all you can see is the object and it looks bigger than it is and also appears blurred. Yet, take it farther a few inches and it gets smaller, clearer and takes on a different proportion. Similarly, i guess, if we start zooming out of situations to see them better and check if they really need the kind of attention and seriousness we are giving it, we can decide if it is worth prioritizing among other things in the limited bandwidth we have. Then we may choose to let some arguments go past us with us agreeing, because IT DOES NOT MATTER that much to win it. We may let some people have their way, we may let bosses tell us what to do even if you have a better idea, because its not significant enough to merit our total investment. this way we can then save up our reserves and use ourselves, our commnication, our time and energy to fight the battles that really matter. We will then do so more effectively and get noticed when it really counts. We will also have saved ourselves up to attend to the things that are important to merit our full commitment rather than be exhausted and pessimistic at those very pivotal moments.

Like a friend who is surfing matrimonial sites recently came across items that girls like for in a man. one of those is somthing called a 'GSOH'..a Great Sense Of Humor! and that is exactly what may help us put things in the right perspective to ask whether to laugh over them and let them pass without over investing in them or to take them by the horns and give it our best for what we believe is a significant outcome.